Monday, October 12, 2009

CHAPTER TWO - One of Us

Back Ground : Jawani Jaaneman ( Film : Manak halal) being played in the radio in the hostel room . VOICE OVER of Ishaan as the scene shows Saajan and Ishaan talking. As Ishaan talks his thoughts are projected.

ISHAAN :

' Ziggies ' - a New term I came to learn today. Ziggies , as in Zig-Zag. And zig zag as in not Straight ! How logical, isn't it ? Saajan's logic was that it was far less harsher that the word 'GAY, FAG or any more of the three or four letter 'insults' that people threw.

For most of its life in English, the word's primary meaning was "joyful", "carefree", "bright and showy", The use of gay to mean "homosexual" was in origin merely an extension of the word's sexualised connotation of "carefree and uninhibited", which implied a willingness to disregard conventional or respectable sexual mores. In that case, Saajan was as Gay as they came. Sadly though, the word has tended to be over exposed to be reduced to a mockery. Now the term ' thats so gay.' refers to a ridicule. and Saajan was tiered of being ridiculed.

SAAJAN

'did you know that the first time I came out was when my mother caught me dressed up in her sari.'

Ishaan looks up at him. He was getting us to the surprises Saajan was throwing at him every now and then.

SAAJAN :

' every morning when my mom use to leave for work , I use to take out her wedding sari and dress up. I use to love the touch of silk on my skin. '

Pause. Saajan stares into space, slipping into memory.

SAAJAN :
That was probably the only silk sari my mom had. We were very poor , you see. She use to work in a school as a sweeper. That day she came back as she forgot something and caught me in her finest sari complete with make up !!

SAAJAN Laughs. Ishaan laughs too, a bit uncomfortable at the thought of Saajan in a sari .

SAAJAN :
She banged me up pretty good that day. With the broom , she hammered me, right out of the hut into the lane. the children laughed, the mothers spat. The dads even kicked me.

Silence

SAAJAN:
I never felt more alone in my life, that at that moment. All through the humiliation, I wondered, why were they doing this.. was it that bad a crime to dress in a sari ? I didn't understand. .. and most of all.. I didn't understand, why , at that very moment. My mother seized to love me .

Ishaan places his hand on Saajan's , to comfort him. He can see that Saajan's eyes had turned red.

SAAJAN :
I was then taken to a teacher of the school that my mother was close to. He use to give my mom free drinks and i'm sure she had slept with him in return at some point, because they seemed pretty close. She asked him if he could 'fix' me, which he agreed to do .

Ishaan :

Fix you ??

SAAJAN :
Apparently , my mom thought that such a learned guy like a school teach would have the answer to everything. She hardly new the difference between a teacher and a doctor ! To her, if you could read, you knew the answer to everything.

She told him that she could no longer keep me with her, as I was an embarrassment.

.. you know , the beating never hurt as much as when she called me that .. an embarrassment.

Ishaan wondered if it was the drugs that was making Saajan say all this..

ISHAAN :
Saajan you need to rest. The doctor said , you need to sleep.

SAAjAN:
oh fk the sleep. Ive been doing that in hospital for three weeks now. I'm fine now.

ISHAAN :
If you say so ..

SAAJAN:
did you know that I had to stay with that teacher for four months before I ran away from there.

Ishaan paused. And looked back questionably at Saajan. Th cam zooms into his face and slips into a black and white flash back. The cam glided up the stair case of a dingy chaul into a poor lit room. Alcohol bottles covered the floor. A mild sound of anklet and bangles clicking. the cam moves in over a tattered bed , lit by the streetlight outside the house. The drunkard teacher frantically kissed young saajan, barely a boy of 6 years. the boy laid sideways on the bed, dressed in a sari. Hand with bangles. pushed at the man pulling up the sari skirt and hands groping inside the loosely fitted blouse. The man's lungi was opened and his pelvis pushed into the boy's bare ass, that glistened in the dim light. The teacher was raping the boy as his kisses cover the boys mouth from screaming in agony. With each forceful thrust, the bangles rattled. The cam pans out and the colors fad back in to Saajan's present face.

Saajan:
four months I was a used by him and his friends . yeah, he fixed me , alright.

Ishaan is transfixed. Images creep in his head. imaged of three weeks ago. Him being drowsy. A pair of large man;y hands sliding under his t-shirt.. the sound of heavy breath.. A sharp pain in his head wakes him back from his trance. Voice over of Ishaan as he leaves the room .

ISHAAN (VO) :
One of the first things we were taught in medicine, was that we can administer, but God heals. I guess that is the difference living in an catholic environment. Everything little thing is twist back to God. The same God that made Saajan, and the same God that make TJ.

It had been three weeks now, and Saajan's recovery was slow. Not only a sign of his weak immune system, but also a sign of how broken he was inside from the episode. He never talked about it, but I knew he would some day.

Pain Brought Saajan and I together. One night Changed us all. One night started the process of becoming men.

Bhatiya was never seen again after that night. He had sent his resignation via mail and was relieved immediately. Why, no one knew. But I had questions... Questions related to what had happened that night. Apparently I was drunk. Shiney smelt it off me. But he didn't say more than that. But I figured it out. What I didn't figure out was 'WHY' ?

A answer came in flashes of nightmares that woke me in the following nights. All I could put together was that something was done to me.. Something that stole my innocence."

Ishaan walks out into the veranda towards the far end a faint sound draws him. The sound of the prelude to the song ' Choli Ke peechey'. The sound came from upstairs. The clarinet tone drew him close and as he approached the thump began introducing the remix version of the sound in a the back ground. Dj Abhi's UK RNB & Electro version of the song blarred in the silence. In the room was a party that Ishaan had never seen before. Darkness, light, smoke, alcohol, drugs.. and Disco ! The room was on the top floor so no one was really bothered. The party was thrown by non other than TJ, who was slithering in the makeshift dance floor with the apparent birthday boy, the only one in the room with a silly pink party hat that had a tiara printed on it flagged by the phrase ' Little princes' over it. The party was a just a bunch of guys, too young and too stoned to bother about what was happening in the center of the room..

TJ, dressed in black jeans and sin red shirt danced too close to the birthday boy, a young northie boy who visible had never been to a party his entire life. The boy was drunk,which had thrown out all his inhibitions out the window. Ishaan peeked through the door opening as he saw the boy loose himself in TJ's seductive arms..
' Lakhon deewane tere.. lakhon deewane... Ashiq Puraaney tere.. Ashiq Puraney' the music thumped with its powerful bass as TJ swirled and then, as if a part of the dance, pulled the boy by band of his tight brown trousers toward the staircase leading to the roof.

.... Haaaaaiiiii ... a rap chorus followed by the popular songs interlude.

.. Begum bagair badshaah kis kaam ka... ' the lyrics resounded as they moved to the isolated terrace, TJ's favorite spot. As the music played TJ pushes the guy to the wall and kisses him passionately. The boy is lost in a trance and moans with pleasure. The heat is palpable way up to the safe distance from where Ishaan peeked. The music continued to thump as TJ's hands snaked through every curve of the boys lean structure.. The boys shirt flew to the floor. TJ's shirt was left on . TJ never took off every clothing during sex. In that was he was still in control. Only the bottom got full naked in surrender. Only the bottom would bare all..

The wooden rosary that looped around Tj's wrist almost leaves an imprint on the boy's back as TJ lifts him up and wraps his legs around his waist. TJ expertly sends explosions from every nook and cranny that his tongue probed. The boy was paralyzing with ecstasy. TJ was known to turn boys into men. He fked only virgin, and you were a virgin only once; which meant it was always a one time affair with TJ. One time, that you would never forget. and no one ever .. ever forgets their first. This was how TJ had turned a legend. In this way, TJ had left his mark on every boy he wanted in this hostel.

" aahhhhhh !' the boy moaned as TJ entered him expertly. There was pleasureful pain. And the boy could seem to get enough. On the iron staircase, Ishaan saw the two of them . The boy in all fours, glistening in the afternoon sun, and TJ like a galant Knight Riding the boy in all his glory.

The boy came and collapsed on the floor and TJ rolled to the side, his muscular body gleaming with sweat that dried up as the cool autumn breeze swept past him.

The boy stood up , all radiant in the afterglow . He smiled contended, and picking up his tattered clothes reached forwarded to kiss TJ before he left. TJ turns away and the boys kiss lands on his cheek. The boy cautiously slides back down towards his room and Ishaan nervously follows.

TJ pulls out a cigarette and lights it. And blows a puff of smoke towards the direction where Ishaan was watching him. TJ peers into the now empty craves and smiles.

CUT TO : downstairs..

TJ :
Hi

Ishaan turns to find TJ twiddling with the lapel of his collar as he reaches the foot of the stairs.

Ishaan :
Hello

TJ :
So why did you leave so early ?

Ishaan
Leave what ?

TJ:
The party.. So you come in , then we vanished.

Ishaan:
Oh, I vanished is it?

TJ:
Well.. Atleast I didn't see you .. ,

TJ threw a glance at Ishaan, who instinctively looked away. TJ smiled.

As Ishaan walks away, TJ follows.

TJ:
"Y'know, I was really impressed by the way you handled yourself that day, when Saajan had his shit happening. "

Ishaan stopped as TJ caught up to him and they sat by the pillar at the veranda.

Ishaan:
" Me too.. The thing you did for Sajjan. Giving blood. Impressive. '

TJ:
" Na it was nothing. Thats what bros do. They look out for each other. "

Ishaan:
"Y'know you surprise me TJ.. "

TJ:
" That's the general consensus.."

Ishaan:
"huh ! , On one side you appear to be this superficial user of men .. "

TJ:
".. and women.."

Ishaan:
".. and women... But on the other side... "

TJ:
" On the other side what ??.'

Ishaan:
" Never mind.. "

TJ:
" No .. Tell me .."

Ishaan:
" Somethings are better left unsaid.. "

Silence..
TJ:
" Listen Kid, Let me tell you one thing.. In-spite of what you have heard, Let me tell you that I'm nothing like that .. "

Ishaan pauses to look at him. Their eyes meet.. TJ slowly draws closes..

" I'm worse !!" , TJ smirks ..

TJ:
" Y' know whan I was little , There was this gun battle in our neighborhood in Kashmir. There were some millitants that were being chsed by the border police. Three had gotten into our house. It was dawn when we were awakened by gun firing. The men barged into our house and shot my father right in front of me. Then they chased the women to the top floor.
I was only 10, but when I saw them, I don't know what got over me. I pushed two men down three floors. Two broke their necks while one broke his back. I was only ten.

Y'see Ishaan. I'm not a very nice person. But yeah, I come through for those I protect. And I only protect those that are one of us . "


Ishaan didn't know if that was a warning or an invitation. He just hoped it was the latter and showed what came out as a half smile. TJ smiled too and walked away.

TJ enters his room and looks around. The room was the flashiest of them all. The first room on the top floor. Right opposite Ishaan's, just that it was on the opposite side of the wing of the
'C' shaped building. As he plopped himself on the bed, his mind clouded into a shady image of that evening when the terrorists came. The echo of the shot that rang through the house. The splatter of his father's blood on his mother's face as she ran towards him. The hasty retreat of his mother with his sister and himself. His sister was his paternal twin.

Flash Back :
Feet frantically running up the muddy external stair case up to the terrace. TJ is just a boy of ten dressed in a loose pathan suit. His mother embrassing his sister to her large chest, pulling her to the corner room for safety. A big hairy man clocks their way and slaps the woman's harshly to throw her down.

" Please... Don't do this... " , She begged.

The screaming girl child clutching at her dress.Two mens stand menacingly over them.. Their eyes filled with evil lust.

"Either we take Her... ", the man growls...
Then suddenly shifting his gaze towards TJ.

" Or you give us HIM."

The horror was much to evident in TJ's mother's eyes. She tries to beg him again, but is met with a sharp kick in the stomach. For a moment there is a difficult pause, the woman stands up and says with a shaky voice..

" I'm sorry my son... "

She holds her daughter closer and turns to huddle into the room at the corner of the terrance. The men smile, shifting their gaze to TJ. The boy didn't know what hit when powerful claw of the Huge pathan grabbed his collar and lifted him up. TJ kick faranticly. But a hard slap across the face from the other man stunned him to freeze. The men pulled him to the center of the terrace where he was stretched eagle spread on the floor. One man pulled up his hands and held it tightly above TJ's head, anchoring them firmly under his nee. TJ yelling in pain and the keen cap of the heavy man dug into his forearm. The other man hastily torn up the front of his 'kurtha' exposing his prepubic chest. The man bit hard into his skin.. and his hands carlessly loosened his own clothing.. Tj's lowere lip bled as the man kissed him violently. Every scream was met with a forceful slap the left the boy limp for a few seconds, only to wake up to feel himself thrown up against the parapet of the terrace wall. His pajama and underwear were ripped off and a thick rugged thumb was digging its way into his asshole. The boy screamed in pain.. Calling for his mother.. The only thing he would hear was the vultures hovering overhead.

Then the world stood still as he felt a sharp pain that ripped through his spin..He wanted to yell, but his voice froze.. he felt his bowels ripped apart as the man thrust his cock forceful into him. The pain made the boy loos consciousness. The man pull the limp body over himself and fucked
the boys limp body from under him. The boy had loosened up which made the man push faster..
Another stab of pain lashed across him as he woke to see the other man lean up against him and thrust his manhood into the already filled hole.

"allahh.......' the boy could only whisper as his voice cracked.
The two men fked him simultaneously.. Kissing him and each other in play of sin and damnation. The pressure on his prostrate, made the boy cum for the first time on his sadistic lovers. After the night had settled in , they fucked him again. till there was nothing felt but a limp bruised body , cum and blood. Then he woke up he saw, what he was certain was the face of God. An old man with a white trimmed beard. The man held him close affectionately and the boy sank back into slumber. The man was priest and in the hand , that maternally stroked the boys bloody hair, was a wooden rosary.

Fade into :
the present where TJ stares at the rosary clasped to his wrist. He kisses it and hugs it
close with a tear that rolls down his cheek.

BLACK SCREEN. Credits . HADSA (REMIX) .






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